IV. Error and the Ego, P 3
3 The ego is the questioning aspect of the post-separation self, which was made rather than created. It is capable of asking questions but not of perceiving meaningful answers, because these would involve knowledge and cannot be perceived. The mind is therefore confused, because only One-mindedness can be without confusion. A separated or divided mind must be confused. It is necessarily uncertain about what it is. It has to be in conflict because it is out of accord with itself. This makes its aspects strangers to each other, and this is the essence of the fear-prone condition, in which attack is always possible. You have every reason to feel afraid as you perceive yourself. This is why you cannot escape from fear until you realize that you did not and could not create yourself. You can never make your misperceptions true, and your creation is beyond your own error. That is why you must eventually choose to heal the separation.
A part of the split mind sees itself as self-created and sovereign. It imagines itself to be separate from all else and self-determined. The right mind sees its true nature as part of a whole, and existing within and sharing the Will of God. There is no meeting ground between these two visions. Never will the right and wrong mind be in accord and so there is constant conflict. It is a wonder we are not all insane. But wait. Perhaps we are.
The mind, because it believes diametrically opposed views of itself, is confused and does not know who it is. This is frightening and an impossible position to be in, and yet, here we are. There is no compromise we can make to ease the situation. We think we have options, that is, we think we can choose between being self-created and being the creation of God. But that is delusional. We don’t get to choose who or how we were created. We can only pretend to be something other than what we are, and when we do we feel confused and afraid.
Up until now we have tried to have both options be true. We see ourselves as separate from God and from each other. We see ourselves as the planners and the decision makers, the movers and the doers. We made a world with endless choices and convinced ourselves they mattered and that making a choice between one illusion or another illusion was important.
We think that we can be a teacher of God even as we judge and condemn our brother. We think we can be happy even as we imagine ourselves to be sinners and deserving of punishment. Do you see how impossible it is to conciliate the two minds? We even made a God in our own image and gave ourselves the choice of whether or not to believe in Him. We have tried to have a God and still be the God we have. No wonder we are frightened and confused.
Our only true option is to back out of the alternate reality we made for ourselves. We do this by first recognizing it has no value. We start looking at the effects of the separation idea and as we do so we realize there is no reason to hold onto it. Then we make the only other choice there is and decide for God as our Creator. With this decision made, the Holy Spirit undoes what we have done, and we are left with a clear mind that allows the truth to be true.