VIII. The Meaning of the Last Judgment, P 5
5 The term “Last Judgment” is frightening not only because it has been projected onto God, but also because of the association of “last” with death. This is an outstanding example of upside-down perception. If the meaning of the Last Judgment is objectively examined, it is quite apparent that it is really the doorway to life. No one who lives in fear is really alive. Your own last judgment cannot be directed toward yourself, because you are not your own creation. You can, however, apply it meaningfully and at any time to everything you have made, and retain in your memory only what is creative and good. This is what your right-mindedness cannot but dictate. The purpose of time is solely to “give you time” to achieve this judgment. It is your own perfect judgment of your own perfect creations. When everything you retain is loveable, there is no reason for fear to remain with you. This is your part in the Atonement.
I love this section on the Last Judgment. When I first began the study of the Course I could not imagine God not judging my behavior. I considered all sorts of variations of the Last Judgment in which God judged me but was merciful, but always there was a judgmental God. I guess this part of Christianity was hard for me to let go.
Perhaps it was because I felt so guilty that I could not imagine not being judged. And of course, I still found value in judging others so I would not let go of the idea of judgment. If I hold onto the idea of judgment, I will judge myself. As Jesus said in the New Testament, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” He understood that if I judged others it was inevitable that I judge myself as well.
I understand now that the last judgment is the process of looking at all I have made and deciding what is real and worth keeping. I have all the time I need to do this. That is what time is for. Yesterday, as I mentioned, I had another opportunity to look at the idea of pain and suffering (which is one of the things I made up) and decide if this is something I want to keep. I also look at fear and guilt, blame, lack and loss, and attack and defense. I look and I become willing to believe otherwise.