I. The Direction of the Curriculum, P 6
6 The total senselessness of such a curriculum must be fully recognized before a real change in direction becomes possible. You cannot learn simultaneously from two teachers who are in total disagreement about everything. Their joint curriculum presents an impossible learning task. They are teaching you entirely different things in entirely different ways, which might be possible except that both are teaching you about yourself. Your reality is unaffected by both, but if you listen to both, your mind will be split about what your reality is.
I have times when I am clear that I am not really this body, and this story of Myron is not my life. I know that I am here to heal the mind and save the world. When I think of this it doesn’t give my ego a thrill of specialness. Actually it is very humbling to realize that I am waking up and that I am learning to allow myself to be lived by something greater than my ego. As I listen to my Teacher, I realize that for the first time in my present memory, I am free. I became free through my full surrender to Spirit.
At other times I am so embroiled in my story that my mind clouds over in confusion. It is at these times that I am listening to ego instead of Spirit. Ego has an entirely different curriculum. Spirit leads me to joy and peace and fulfillment. Ego, on the other hand, leads me to drama, strong emotion, willfulness and loss. Ego teaches me that guilt and fear are my saviors. The outcome when learning from ego will be pain and suffering. Its final destination will always be death.
In any day, I will be led by Spirit to overlook the ego actions and words of others and to overlook my own as well. Spirit leads me to see only the truth in every circumstance and every person. This is very peaceful and the effect is a happy life. In contrast, ego says that everyone is an enemy at times, even the ones I love the most. Ego says that I must defend myself, and when not defending I must prepare for defense. It says I must listen closely to what others say, carefully looking in case offense was offered. It is a harsh and exhausting job following ego.
Holy Spirit has been very patient with me, allowing me to see the contrast between curriculums. No matter how many times I choose ego, Holy Spirit remains steadfastly certain of me, and so I am learning to trust myself, too. As I use Holy Spirit as my model, I am learning to extend this trust to my brothers, and in doing so my lesson in self-trust is reinforced.