I. The Direction of the Curriculum, P 2
2 The distractions of the ego may seem to interfere with your learning, but the ego bas no power to distract you unless you give it the power to do so. The ego’s voice is an hallucination. You cannot expect it to say “I am not real.” Yet you are not asked to dispel your hallucinations alone. You are merely asked to evaluate them in terms of their results to you. If you do not want them on the basis of loss of peace, they will be removed from your mind for you.
For awhile now I have been experiencing major shifts in my understanding. My connection with Spirit has grown stronger and stronger. I am more peaceful, and happier. Frustrating periods of confusion, and sometimes, unnecessary suffering has preceded many of those shifts, as I looked at the false beliefs in my mind. But I am happy to do it, and it passes much more quickly now because my willingness is stronger than my resistance.
My part in this process is my willingness, my sincere desire to awaken. I do not dispel my illusions alone. The Holy Spirit undoes them for me as that becomes my desire. It happens slowly, a small step at a time when my willingness is weak. As it strengthens, the transformation is quick. There is a big difference for me now. I used to believe the ego had power over me. I used to doubt and become fearful when I seemed to temporarily fail.
Now I know that I made the ego; the ego did not make me. Therefore, the ego is powerless before me, and if it seems to rule me, it is only because I desire to keep it in place. I am no longer trying to lie to myself about this because I no longer feel guilty about it. Foolish, maybe, and frustrated with myself sometimes, but not guilty.
Recently while reading a past entry in my journal, I was reminded of this passage from The Holy Spirit’s Interpretation of the New Testament. It says:
The choice you make will seem to be made many times in complete sincerity and truth of heart. And then you will seem to slip and forget the choice you have made. Do not let this distress you. Simply make the choice again.
That really helped me to let go of the concerns I had about my seeming failures. In fact, reading this and accepting it was a turning point for me.
Evidently, I am also learning to evaluate everything on the basis of loss of peace. I notice that I am very sensitive now to loss of peace, and when it happens, I immediately look at my thoughts to see what precipitated the loss. When I see the thought I evaluate it. What is its value to me? Do I want this belief more than I want peace of mind?
Sometimes I become temporarily confused and think I need to make the thought go away, or somehow fix my ego with my ego. But as Jesus says: The ego’s voice is an hallucination. You cannot expect it to say “I am not real.” Eventually, I always come to my senses and allow Holy Spirit to do His job and my mind is corrected and my peace is restored.