X. The Confusion of Pain and Joy, P 8
8 Miracles are in accord with the Will of God, Whose Will you do not know because you are confused about what you will. This means that you are confused about what you are. If you are God’s Will and do not accept His Will, you are denying joy. The miracle is therefore a lesson in what joy is. Being a lesson in sharing it is a lesson in love, which is joy. Every miracle is thus a lesson in truth, and by offering truth you are learning the difference between pain and joy.
Jesus says that I am confused about what I am, and that is true for sure! I am confused about my will which I think is different than the Will of God. Since I am the Will of God, this leaves me confused about what I am. God’s Will is joy and love and peace. Because I think I can have a will that is different from God, I deny myself joy and love and peace.
As I allow my mind to be healed, the truth returns to me. This is a miracle. Actually, this is THE miracle from which all true effects extend. As I am healed and I begin to remember what I am, I naturally share what I know, and this sharing is love and love is joy. Through the miracle of a healed mind, the difference between pain and joy which was once obscure to me now becomes clear.
I used to think that pleasure was deciding for myself what I am. I used to think pleasure was successfully defending my right to be different from my brothers and from God, which meant that I must defend against them so that I could maintain my own separate will. I can remember feeling a surge of adrenaline when I seemed to win against another, and believing that was joy. But it was just adrenalin after all, and when it receded all I had left was my fear and guilt.
I still get confused about what I am, and think that it makes me happy to decide on a personal will, but I soon remember that this can’t be right. I cannot overcome what I am, which is the Will of God. No matter how sick or tired I make the body, I have proved nothing. I am not the body. I am the Son of God, His holy Will. No matter how impoverished I seem to be, I change nothing because I was created with everything and I cannot overcome God’s Will that I be everything.
Through the miracle I have discovered that I don’t want to overcome God’s Will. I was created in love and truth and joy and that is all I am. As I accept the miracle of a healed mind, I accept that I am as I was created and I rejoice in that truth! If I become confused today, I ask for the Atonement. I want to remember only what is true.