IX. The Extension of the Kingdom, P 2
2 Spirit knows that the awareness of all its brothers is included in its own, as it is included in God. The power of the whole Sonship and of its Creator is therefore spirit’s own fullness, rendering its creations equally whole and equal in perfection. The ego cannot prevail against a totality that includes God, and any totality must include God. Everything He created is given all His power, because it is part of Him and shares His Being with Him. Creating is the opposite of loss, as blessing is the opposite of sacrifice. Being must be extended. That is how it retains the knowledge of itself. Spirit yearns to share its being as its Creator did. Created by sharing, its will is to create. It does not wish to contain God, but wills to extend His Being.
Jesus is telling us something about our Self. We are created by God as an extension of Himself. That is, God created us through sharing Himself. That means that we are equal in perfection and power with our Creator. This is so hard to take in because we have made a self that is opposite of Reality and so we feel small and weak and vulnerable.
What we feel is exactly the opposite of what we are. This is why we must let go of what we think we know before we can take our place in the Kingdom. What we think we know is blocking our awareness of our Reality. Recently, I have begun to respond to ego feelings by telling myself, “That can’t be right.”
Yesterday, I spent the day with my sister-in-law at the emergency room. She is experiencing Restrictive Lung Disease. Her lungs just won’t let her exhale breath so there is a build up of carbon dioxide. At least this is what I understood the doctor to say. There were a lot of emotions going on as I was there with my family.
When I would feel that hospital personnel were guilty for not responding quickly, I would remind myself of the truth, “That can’t be right.” There is no such thing as guilt. It is just one of those ego things we made up to keep separation in place. When I felt helpless and didn’t know what to say, I could remind myself, that can’t be right. The Holy Spirit is in my mind and always ready to respond through me as I step back and allow that to happen. Why should this be any different.
The ego is always going to react with fear and guilt because that is how it was made, from fear and guilt. But, as Jesus says, the ego cannot prevail against a totality that includes God and any totality must include God. I am beginning to see things differently now. I am beginning to see everyone as part of me, not separate people with separate needs, but one whole thing of which I am a part. And all of us are in God. This changes everything.
What I noticed yesterday is that I still sometimes react to the unknown as if it is the enemy. I feel afraid and uncertain. Because I feel so at sea, not knowing how to feel, I grab onto any familiar anchor and that is sometimes the ego. But my connection with Spirit is firmly rooted through years of practice as I have turned to Him for guidance and clarity over and over.
So what that looked like is this. I would see myself agreeing with fear stories, or finding fault with the medical system. I would hear myself telling stories to support this fear. I could see myself doing it as if it was someone else. I even saw the reason I did it, how it was like a drowning person grabbing the first solid object to keep afloat. That was how I felt, like I was drowning in uncertainty and it was better to be egocentric than to drown.
I watched all this happen and it was ok. I knew what was happening and why and I knew to let it go. This is so much better than when I would stay in it for a long time and when I finally came to my senses, would feel guilty and beat myself up for not doing better. It was also very reassuring to see that the Holy Spirit is still there even when I am confused, stronger than the ego in my mind. When I was finding fault I was seeing us as separate, and I was allowing fear to block the extension of love, which is creation.
More than once I notice how I felt, tired and weepy, and reminded myself that it is ok to feel whatever I feel. This is an important reminder for me because I can start to feel guilty for not being “stronger” and when this happens I know that it is the ego wanting to be strong. Over all, I am happy that even though I was caught up in the ego story of Brinda in the emergency room, I was also detached enough to see what was going on. The ego will not prevail. It is not possible. Even when everything seems crazy and scary, part of me knows it is just a story and that it can’t be true.