V. B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, P 4
4 Upside down as always, the ego perceives the first lesson as insane. In fact, this is its only alternative since the other possibility, which would be much less acceptable to it, would obviously be that it is insane. The ego’s judgment, here as always, is predetermined by what it is. The fundamental change will still occur with the change of mind in the thinker. Meanwhile, the increasing clarity of the Holy Spirit’s Voice makes it impossible for the learner not to listen. For a time, then, he is receiving conflicting messages and accepting both.
Journal
I accept that the ego is insane and so I accept that “to have, give all to all” must be true as it is the opposite of what the ego tells me. The ego insists that to have I must take, and I must defend what I take. At first, I accepted the Holy Spirit’s lesson in blind faith and without a lot of enthusiasm because I didn’t really believe it. But because I was willing to believe it, the Voice for God became stronger in my mind, my willingness grew, and so did my understanding. As my understanding grew, so did the motivation for change.
Here is an example of how this works in my life. I teach, facilitate, counsel, and perform weddings and other functions as a minister. I do this on Friday evenings, Saturdays, Sundays and Monday evenings. I also work full time during the week. The ego mind sometimes insists that I am giving too much of my time and that it is exhausting me.
If I listen to that old line, I start to feel tired and think I should cut back on what I do in my ministry. But I don’t do that because I recognize the ego voice when I hear it and I no longer trust it. Instead I ask Spirit what it is He would have me do and then I do it. What happens is that I take the next call and teach the next class. As I do this, my energy rises to meet the need and I am infused with peace and happiness.
I love what I do and it is never a burden. It is only the ego that thinks to give is to lose. I have learned that I will feel tired if I listen to the ego and energetic if I listen to Spirit. It has become clear to me that it is not what I do that makes me tired, but rather it is what I believe that saps my energy, just as it is that accepting the Holy Spirit’s lesson to give all to all fills me with energy.
I am still allowing my understanding to expand around this idea. It is so completely opposite to what I have taught myself through the ego that I still default to ego thinking that I am poor indeed and must hoard the little I have. The conflicting messages are not as disruptive as they used to be, though, because while I still hear the ego, I hear the Holy Spirit more clearly, and I am increasingly willing to believe only that Voice. I have discovered that listening to ego leads to chaos and depression, while listening to Spirit leads to peace.