V. B. To Have Peace, Teach Peace to Learn It, P 3
3 The first step in the reversal or undoing process is the undoing of the getting concept. Accordingly, the Holy Spirit’s first lesson was “To have, give all to all.” I said that this is apt to increase conflict temporarily, and we can clarify this still further now. At this point, the equality of having and being is not yet perceived. Until it is, having appears to be the opposite of giving. Therefore, the first lesson seems to contain a contradiction, since it is being learned by a conflicted mind. This means conflicting motivation, and so the lesson cannot be learned consistently as yet. Further, the mind of the learner projects its own conflict, and thus does not perceive consistency in the minds of others, making him suspicious of their motivation. This is the real reason why, in many respects, the first lesson is the hardest to learn. Still strongly aware of the ego in yourself, and responding primarily to the ego in others, you are being taught to react to both as if what you do believe is not true.
Journal
Having does appear to be the opposite of giving to us who still believe in separation. I give freely and in my sanest moments I give without a thought of loss. But I am not yet always sane and sometimes I give but it is out of sacrifice and in fear. I always support those whose words of wisdom support me. I do this out of love and appreciation. I do it so that they will be able to continue to give their time and effort to helping us wake up. But when I am afraid of loss, even these gifts are given grudgingly.
When this happens, when I forget Who my Source is and I begin to believe in loss and lack, I don’t try to fix that feeling by adjusting my finances, by cutting out nonessentials and deciding who I can afford to support and who I have to take off my list. Instead, I search my mind for signs of confusion about lack and loss. I ask the Holy Spirit for help to see clearly, and I ask for and accept the Atonement for my mistaken beliefs.
If appearances indicate lack or loss in my life, it is not because I am giving too much away, it is because I have forgotten who I am. The error needs correction on the level of cause. What I have discovered is that when I fall into the ego belief of lack, fear arises and acting from that fear I begin to project my “problem” onto the world. I start to think the problem is that I am too generous or too carless with my money. I begin to resent the ones who are the beneficiaries of my gifts, as if they are the cause of the change in my mind.
If I continue to give out of a sense of obligation without allowing my mind to be healed, the problem will just get worse because I am conflicted. I am motivated to give out of fearlessness not because I have all, but because I am all. But I am also motivated to give out of obligation, which is fearful, stemming as it does from the belief I am limited and giving depletes me.
This is equally true when giving takes other forms such as giving my time and effort, my affection and trust. I have an unlimited supply of everything because I am unlimited. However, when I identify with the body/personality, which is the personification of limits, I become uncomfortable with giving, believing it is the same as loss. The solution is never going to be to further limit my giving which will serve to further convince myself that I am limited. The solution is to allow the mind to be corrected. This can be a very simple process.
Sometimes I will have some personal project I want to complete and I will feel conflicted about my obligations. Something that was a joy just moments ago begins to feel like a burden. Instead of giving into that feeling, I recognize that I don’t know what is important for me to do, and I don’t know what should happen in this situation. I gladly step aside and trust the Holy Spirit to arrange things for me. Sometimes the most amazing things happen, but always I am instantly at peace and somehow time stretches to accommodate my needs.
The only reason it seems hard to understand that “to have, give all to all,” makes sense is because we forget who we are. We are All and we give only to ourselves even as the part of our selves we give to seems separate from us. Within the parameters of separation, giving creates a loss, but we are not that. We are not separate and as we learn to teach wholeness, we learn to believe in wholeness.