VI. Time and Eternity, P 1
1 God in His knowledge is not waiting, but His Kingdom is bereft while you wait. All the Sons of God are waiting for your return, just as you are waiting for theirs. Delay does not matter in eternity, but it is tragic in time. You have elected to be in time rather than eternity, and therefore believe you are in time. Yet your election is both free and alterable. You do not belong in time. Your place is only in eternity, where God Himself placed you forever.
Journal
This is pretty straight forward, but what stands out to me are two things. First, that all the Sons of God are waiting for my return, and evidently, I feel the loss of them as well, even though I am the one that left. Since I don’t remember this leaving, and I don’t remember what it was like to be in eternity, I suppose it seems like they are missing from me.
I don’t miss them in the sense that I miss my son who lives several hours away. Missing the other Sons of God is more of an unidentified longing. The ego mind offers me one reason after another for this longing. I feel like I need more money, more friends, better health, a more attractive body. Then I stay forever busy trying to get these things and even when I do, I still feel unsatisfied, because these are just distracting substitutes to keep me from answering the real source of my longing. I cannot be kept from God, though, and as I am waking up, I am asking the Holy Spirit to remove the thoughts that block my awareness of the Kingdom and my place in it.
One might argue that since the world is not real the stories do not matter and so we may as well just enjoy them. But that brings up the second thing that caught my attention and the reason I am tired of delaying my inevitable return Home. “Delay does not matter in eternity, but it is tragic in time.” It is tragic because I believe in time and I believe in what I made.
I believe in war and hatred and attack. I believe in rape and assault and murder. I believe my heart can break and that death can tear love from me. Because I believe in these things, they are true for me, so delay from release of this nightmare existence is tragic. For me. While I believe I am here. My release is simple. I stop believing in this existance. My belief has imprisoned me and so the key to my release is to believe something else. I believe in You, God. I believe in Your promises. I believe in my Divinity. I believe I belong, not here in time, but with You in eternity. Please heal my unbelief.