I know that everything I think I am looking at, the world and all bodies (including the one I think of as mine) and every situation within this world is really inside my mind.
The reason I see it outside my mind is that I don’t want to acknowledge what is in me. I am afraid of what I have made and so I pretend it is outside me, and to fortify the idea, I imagine an elaborate landscape and lots of “others” on which to project. Wow! How clever of me! Or so it seems. But because thoughts do not leave their source, I haven’t really gotten rid of anything, and I am now further confused and frightened of what I think I have done.
There is a way out. I can look at all I see and recognize that it is merely a reflection of my thoughts and beliefs, and then I can ask the Holy Spirit to help me see differently. In other words, I want to trade my made up thoughts for the thoughts I think with God. I want to take this way out. I have had enough success with this process to know that it brings me peace, which I have come to value.
I have noticed that my mind seems to revert to the old way of thinking unless I am very vigilant for this kind of thing. For example, I begin to notice that I feel very frustrated that I cannot spend more time writing, and rather than look at the belief that generated that feeling, I begin to look outside myself for the cause of the frustration.
Here is how this works. I feel like I have too much stuff going on and am running out of time. I feel anxious about it. I decided that my anxiety is caused by the stuff that is going on. In my confusion, I believe that I am the victim of my overloaded schedule and that there is nothing I can do about it. It is not my fault or my responsibility.
My projection is very convincing, but there is still a place in my mind that holds the truth, and I am never fully convinced. Something is not right, and I know it even though I am unwilling to face it, so I make more stories in a vain attempt to rationalize my behavior and justify my attacks on my brothers.
Even though this strategy is not working, I hold onto it. I notice that I continue to complain about the same issues and to make the same projections over and over. I seem to be so identified with this familiar list of complaints that I think they are who I am. If all of this is a product of my imagination, and nothing is outside my mind, then who is the “I” that I am talking about? Ooh! It feels like the sand is shifting beneath my feet!
Holy Spirit, I am willing to temporarily stand on shifting sand, because I know that this period of transition will be brief and that You will support me as I adjust.
Holy Spirit: The ego is your defense against God, and it would not be much of a defense if it did not leave you feeling confused and doubtful about your identity. But no matter how good the defense is, you are still exactly as you were created. You are not outside God in any way except in your imagination. You can imagine a separate ‘I’ as long as you want to, but imagining it doesn’t make it true.
You have experienced the pain you have caused yourself by identifying with the ego-self. You have also experienced the joy and peace that comes from loosening your hold on that identity. You are now moving steadily onward toward making peace and joy all that you experience. The more often you make the choice for peace, instead of the choice for fear, the more certain you will be about your own true identity. And believe Me when I tell you, dear heart, it is a choice.
You are right that I am with you as you get your footing. As you notice each fear thought, ask that I look at it with you. I will show you the truth, and I will bring you comfort. That is My purpose and I am true to My purpose. I will never leave you. When you feel like you are alone, it is because you have identified with the ego, which is about being alone. The thought of wholeness is in your mind. Choose that instead.
Me: I am tired of making everything my enemy so that I can justify my anger and convince myself that my insane thoughts have meaning. I invite You into my awareness this day and ask that You help me see differently.
(Yesterday I spent the day noticing the stories in my mind that create and support the separate self-identity. They are many and varied. Each time I became aware of one, I would remind myself that the story is not real. I would say, “I am not that.” That was really helpful.)
Excerpt from, “Hey, Holy Spirit, It’s Me Again”