5. HOW IS HEALING ACCOMPLISHED?

1 Healing involves an understanding of what the illusion of sickness is for. Healing is impossible without this.

I. The Perceived Purpose of Sickness, P 1

1 Healing is accomplished the instant the sufferer no longer sees any value in pain. Who would choose suffering unless he thought it brought him something, and something of value to him? He must think it is a small price to pay for something of greater worth. For sickness is an election; a decision. It is the choice of weakness, in the mistaken conviction that it is strength. When this occurs, real strength is seen as threat and health as danger. Sickness is a method, conceived in madness, for placing God’s Son on his Father’s throne. God is seen as outside, fierce and powerful, eager to keep all power for Himself. Only by His death can He be conquered by His Son.

 

Journal

This is so crazy! Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely believe that this is what is happening. But it is crazy. First, I choose sickness, I decide for it. And if that is not crazy enough, the reasoning behind this choice proves insanity. I think I am in competition for the throne. I think that I need to depose my Creator and take His place. No wonder I am afraid of God.

And how am I going to do this? I am going to get sick, suffer and then die. Ha! Take that, God! And you can’t stop me. My choice for sickness is now seen as strength that gets me what I want, and health as dangerous as it keeps me enslaved to God. I’m also going to bang my head on the floor and hold my breath until I turn blue or until you admit defeat and die, God. Jeez.

Well, I am not as insane as I used to be. I can see this and see the absurdity of it. I have suffered for my folly, and I want to stop. I have even gotten in touch with my love of God, though I occasionally let myself become aware of my fear of God. Still, I am beginning to heal mentally, and so I am interested in healing in all other ways including physically.

So I accept the fact that sickness is a choice I make. Until that fact is accepted, there is little I can do to turn this behavior around. I would still keep getting sick and thinking that it just happened to me, and how unfair it all is. I have had proof that sickness is a choice, lots of proof, and yet I still fall back on the idea that sickness has value. It is just an old way of thinking, a bad habit that I need to break.