IV. Practicing the Holy Instant, P 8
8 Every thought you would keep hidden shuts communication off, because you would have it so. It is impossible to recognize perfect communication while breaking communication holds value to you. Ask yourself honestly, “Would I want to have perfect communication, and am I wholly willing to let everything that interferes with it go forever?” If the answer is no, then the Holy Spirit’s readiness to give it to you is not enough to make it yours, for you are not ready to share it with Him. And it cannot come into a mind that has decided to oppose it. For the holy instant is given and received with equal willingness, being the acceptance of the single Will that governs all thought.
Recently, I became part of an Al Anon group and I have been doing the steps. I am on step 4 right now. This one says to make a fearless and searching moral inventory of myself. This has been an interesting experience for me. I am using a book called Paths to Recovery. It asks questions to help me do the steps, and I am doing my best to answer them as honestly as I can.
This morning as I read this paragraph, I find myself wondering if I am being honest. Am I hiding any embarrassing or shameful thoughts? I notice that I am getting frustrated with the process and that increases my suspicions that I am not being in full communication even with myself. Later today I am going back to this project and this time I am beginning the process again, but with the Holy Spirit as my guide.
I am asking Him to help me see what needs to be seen. I am going to trust Him completely. I am willing to let go of anything that interferes with our communication. I do want full and open communication because anything less is not really communication at all. To be in true communication is to be in the holy instant and this will be given to me if I do not oppose it.