VII. Generosity, P 1
1 The term generosity has special meaning to the teacher of God. It is not the usual meaning of the word; in fact, it is a meaning that must be learned and learned very carefully. Like all the other attributes of God’s teachers this one rests ultimately on trust, for without trust no one can be generous in the true sense. To the world, generosity means “giving away” in the sense of “giving up.” To the teachers of God, it means giving away in order to keep. This has been emphasized throughout the text and the workbook, but it is perhaps more alien to the thinking of the world than many other ideas in our curriculum. Its greater strangeness lies merely in the obviousness of its reversal of the world’s thinking. In the clearest way possible, and at the simplest of levels, the word means the exact opposite to the teachers of God and to the world.
I like being generous. I like giving to friends and loved ones. It is one of the reasons I have always enjoyed Christmas so much. I like giving to someone in need whether I know them or not. I give money, clothes, attention, love, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, whatever form love takes at the time.
I am about half way to generosity. I am not entirely generous because I pick and choose where I will be generous. I sometimes decide who deserves my generosity. I hold back when I think I don’t have enough. Sometimes I am miserly in my giving, sharing a little or with resentment. My trust is not yet complete so I cannot afford to be generous in the way Jesus speaks of it.
What I do when I notice these behaviors is to ask for healing, to ask for help in trusting completely. I want to be completely surrendered so that in all things I ask for direction and follow it without exception. I want to do this without fear and without a sense of sacrifice, but because it brings me joy to do so. This will happen only as I develop trust.