Father, my freedom is in You alone.
I did not understand what made me free, nor what my freedom is, nor where to look to find it. Father, I have searched in vain until I heard Your Voice directing me. Now I would guide myself no more. For I have neither made nor understood the way to find my freedom. But I trust in You. You Who endowed me with my freedom as Your holy Son will not be lost to me. Your Voice directs me, and the way to You is opening and clear to me at last. Father, my freedom is in You alone. Father, it is my will that I return.
Today we answer for the world, which will be freed along with us. How glad are we to find our freedom through the certain way our Father has established. And how sure is all the world’s salvation, when we learn our freedom can be found in God alone.
I, like all of us, have spent my life looking for freedom in all the wrong places. I have sought financial freedom. I have searched for freedom in relationships, then when that I didn’t seem to work, I looked for freedom from the relationships. The list of useless searches is endless and none have brought me more than temporary satisfaction.
God is my freedom. I know this is true and though I still go off on side trips when I sight something in the world that tempts me to do so; I know that only God is my freedom. This is why I spend my days and my nights with the Holy Spirit. The word “alone” is the key to this lesson. I find my freedom in God and nowhere else. I experience freedom when I choose only God.
I choose not to think of these side trips as a waste of time or a sin. They are simply opportunities to realize that I do not want to go there. I need only remember that if it does not make me happy I took a wrong turn. I look with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to show me that freedom is not to be found in the world. Every time I do this I shake off a bit more of the dream.
The ego wants to make this very complicated, wants to trap me in intellectualizing and conceptualizing. I can go in endless circles trying to figure out what it all means and what I am supposed to do with it. If that does not entice me, and it seldom does anymore, then the ego tries for guilt. I am still tempted by guilt, but I also know that guilt is never helpful and is just a sign that I have taken another wrong turn. The ego is also very fond of hopelessness, and I feel the twinges of hopelessness at times. Occasionally I forget that it has no value and stay there for brief periods. However, I have lost my taste for it and know that I can look to the Holy Spirit for redirection.
The ego misdirection that is most frightening to me is the thought I am wrong about it all, that the truth is not true. What if the ego is real and God is dead, if He ever existed at all. This is a dead end road and takes me only into despair. No matter which side trip I make, the Holy Spirit is always there. He shows me the error in my thinking and gently guides me back to the main road. All I need to do to get this help is to want it. The more often I ask for help, the straighter the road and the happier my journey.
What I know now is that I am free. I am free of the ego and its ill effects. I chose to experience the idea of not-God, but that can’t change what I am. I know this because it is truth and truth remains in my mind regardless of what else I might choose to think. The only thing I am doing now is allowing the Holy Spirit to remove from my mind the other things I have thought and sometimes still think that are not part of Reality. As this is done, what I am becomes more and more apparent to me.
Now I am ready for surrender. I surrender the little self-will that I used to treasure. I surrender the guilt and fear and all the strange concepts that arise from the little self-will. I spend my time now mastering that decision, noticing when I am attracted to something else and returning my mind to God. I don’t know how long this will go on, but I am surrendered to the process and I am not questioning it anymore.
I am more dedicated to this task than ever before and I never doubt its end result. If I ever thought to doubt, What is Creation ends those doubts. What God created remains unaffected by what is not His creation. I am safe. My Self is certain and all that is left to do is to allow the Holy Spirit to remove the bit that remains to torment me. Those few thoughts are stubborn but they are on their way out, for sure.