I used to think that depression was a real thing and something over which I had no control. I learned differently.
I use the little self of Myron to show me the consequences of the choice for separation, but it is not for this little self that I make the choice; it is for the one mind that I choose. So every choice I make during the day either helps to awaken that part of the mind that is dreaming, or it reinforces the dream.
Salvation is never personal but only seems that way because my awareness is so focused on the projection of Myron. It’s ok that I give my attention to the illusion. That is what I came to do, but it is through awareness of my purpose that the illusion is undone.
The Holy Spirit is helping me to understand something about this. I used to be chronically depressed. Each morning I woke up in fear as I wondered if today would be a bad day or a good one. I would lay there waiting to see how I would feel. I was completely alone in my fear and believed I was totally a victim of my depression.
Slowly over the years as I studied the Course, this changed. I began to realize that I am not alone, but part of a whole, and that, with all of my brothers, I live in God. I cannot be a victim of anything outside of mind. This did not happen overnight, but eventually, I realized that I no longer experienced depression, and if I woke feeling less than happy I would see this as an opportunity to further heal the mind by choosing Spirit over ego.
When I look at this from the perspective of my self it seems that Myron’s life has greatly benefited from the spiritual practice, and certainly it has. But Myron is just a symbol and a temporary focus of the dream. Through the story of Myron, the mind is awakened from the belief in aloneness, victimization, and depression. From the perspective of self this is a very personal story, but from another perspective, it is about healing the one mind which includes all of the Son of God.
For a long time, this process of awakening through the study of the Course seemed difficult and complicated. As my desire for God grew, my willingness became stronger and I resisted less. What had seemed complicated is now recognized as very simple. All of my moments from morning to morning are spent choosing between fear and love. It takes many different forms, but as I look past the form to the content I see only fear or love.
I decide, in each moment, which I want to experience. Through that experience, I learn to choose love more and more often. And the dreaming mind shakes off more of its slumber. Each time I choose love over fear the Sonship experiences a little tremble, a slight quake and minute shift in awareness and each aspect of the Son benefits from this shift because it is at the mind that all aspects are joined. This is why salvation is not personal. I awake for all of us because I am all of us.