I give my life to God to guide today.
Father, I give You all my thoughts today. I would have none of mine. In place of them, give me Your Own. I give You all my acts as well, that I may do Your Will instead of seeking goals which cannot be obtained, and wasting time in vain imaginings. Today I come to You. I will step back and merely follow You. Be You the Guide, and I the follower who questions not the wisdom of the Infinite, nor Love whose tenderness I cannot comprehend, but which is yet Your perfect gift to me.
Today we have one Guide to lead us on. And as we walk together, we will give this day to Him with no reserve at all. This is His day. And so it is a day of countless gifts and mercies unto us.
For the last few days, I have been responding to these prayerful lessons with strong feelings of love for my Creator and for my brother, Jesus. These feelings well up in me as I read them and at different times during the day. I can’t call the feelings to me or make them happen, they simply occur. Today, it is the same.
I put aside any desire today to live my life on my own (with ego). That means I will make no decisions on my own, and I will disregard the ego chatter, the ego objections, and ego judgments, and the other ego temptations. I’m not interested. I see that the ego is already urging me to hurry and get things done and to worry about some plans for later.
I experience this urging as a slight tension, a contraction in my stomach, a stiffening of my neck and jaw. But this time, I just notice and as I choose to disregard the ego, I feel peace fill my mind. That is what I have instead of the dubious “right” to decide what things mean and how to respond based on that meaning.
As I choose to ignore the ego thoughts, I feel peace fill me up. That is what I have instead of the dubious “right” to decide what things mean and how to respond based on that meaning. I get peace and happiness. I get something more, too. I feel this love of God rising up in me, and I wish I could adequately describe how this makes me feel. I want it to never end.
I am so happy that this is today’s lesson! It is such a beautiful prayer and so encouraging. I had a long week at work. That is the days were long and I ended them feeling very tired. It is at times like this that the ego mind sees an opening and jumps right in. It doesn’t have as much luck pulling me into false thinking as it used to but it tries really hard, and lately, either it is trying harder or I am more aware of the ego thoughts and feelings.
Yesterday, after the last customer, but a good two hours from home, I decided I had better stop for supper. I was tired and running out of energy. When I got back to the car, I was glad I had stopped and felt much better. As I sat there getting ready to pull out, I suddenly felt so sorry for myself. The ego had all the proof that I was over worked and underappreciated. My body was achy and I just dreaded the rest of the ride home. I just felt like sitting there and crying.
It was an ego attack that came out of the blue and hit hard, but not really. I mean, these are beliefs that are in my mind all the time and have not been fully released to the Holy Spirit. These were thoughts of victimhood, of being unfairly treated, of hopelessness, and carefully hidden rage. I have given these beliefs to the Holy Spirit any number of times, and have received blessings in their place, but I have not let them go completely. I suppose I foresaw a need for them in the future.
So here they were again, insisting they were real and important and not to be denied. But I want the peace of God. The peace of God is everything I want, my one goal, the aim of all my living here. I cannot have the peace of God and feel sorry for myself or blame someone for my discomfort. I do all this to myself and I can stop doing it. I cannot wish myself at home when I am far away, but I can drive home in ease and even in joy. Yes, I feel the pull of ego thinking, but I don’t have to go there.
I felt better after this little talk with Holy Spirit and began my way home. The ego tried one more thing as I was leaving. It started up its chatter about not having enough time. I didn’t get time this morning to read my paragraph in the Text and ask Jesus to enlighten me. Now I would not get home until after 9:00 PM and would be short on time again. I began to worry about this and try to figure out what to do about it. Then I laughed as I realized the ego was at it again. Could I just be at peace?
The Holy Spirit answered my question and I pulled over to the side and shared it on Facebook because sharing something is how we make it our own. Here is what I was given.
I will get home when I get home. I will go to sleep when I go to sleep. I will wake up when I wake up. I will get as much done as I get done. That was easy! LOL.
Here are past entries from my journal.
I ask the Holy Spirit to bring to my attention whatever it is that I need to look at just now. I set my intention to look at whatever needs to be seen, and I trust my Guide to help me in a way that will be most useful to me at this stage in my spiritual growth.
Me: Holy Spirit, my goal is to become completely empty of any desire to think with the ego mind. I know that You know the way home that is perfect for me. I surrender myself to your loving help. And please don’t mind any kicking and screaming you hear as it will subside as I release the ego thought.
Holy Spirit: My dear child, indeed you are one who has been consistently bringing your thoughts to Me for correction, and all of the Sonship is in gratitude. If you would like to avoid that period of kicking and screaming, I will tell you that you can by simply knowing that it is not required. Because you chose to make this a difficult and frustrating process in the past does not mean it must remain so. Would you accept it as easy and, yes, even delightful, it would be so to you.
It would give us great joy to surprise you with the ease of allowing without resistance. Perhaps you would like to set your intention to trust yourself to gladly and gleefully look within yourself for mistaken thoughts, as looking in your closet for worn out and unwanted clothing, and as easily tossing them out, knowing you are making room for what will bring you much joy. Or if you still feel the need, you may kick and scream through the whole process.
Me: Holy Spirit, you have said before that I am making this harder than it needs to be, but I keep doing it. (Sigh.) It seems that especially these deeply hidden thoughts would be painful to look at and discard. After all, if they are deeply hidden it must be for a reason. But I do love the picture you draw of me looking at and tossing out unwanted thoughts. I will set that intention, though as I type this I notice some contracting of my body around itself as if fending off something fearful or unwanted. This may take some practice, but wouldn’t it be fun to do this with ease! Thank you for the thought.
Yesterday I spent a lot of time in vain imaginings and it was not a happy day. I made a judgment though I am not sure when I did it or what it was. That doesn’t matter, though, only that I am willing for healing. Before I went to bed I asked the Holy Spirit for help and I woke up this morning at 2:30 wanting to do the lesson.
I love that today’s lesson is one of renewed commitment. I have recently made a commitment to deny anything not of God the ability to affect me, and have spent the previous week practicing this. Yesterday the ego mind dug in its heels and said no. But resistance is not in God and so resistance cannot be in me. This did not feel like love, peace or joy. It did not feel like God. It cannot be true. I rest in You, God, and I allow my mind to be healed.
Today, Father, I give You my thoughts, my actions, my will. I step back and allow You to lead the way. I do this gladly and with all the willingness I have. I choose you, God, by refusing to say yes to anything that is not You.
I’m excited at the thought of deliberately giving the day to God, all my thoughts and all my actions, my every word, and to do this without reserve. That means I will hold nothing back, keep no little part to myself making my own decisions. I would do His Will today. I am excited to see how that unfolds, and what it looks like. I think I am more certain of my desire to invite Him in and step back to let Him lead the way than I ever have been before.
In the same paragraph that Jesus asks us to step back and relinquish control, he also tells us that our reward will be countless gifts and mercies. I think this is the natural order of things. I think that I am worthy of God’s gifts and mercies and that I am showered with them all the time. I think that I will become aware of this when I let go fully of the ego dream story and return my mind to its normal state of wholeness. Today, I will receive a taste of this, a sweet reminder of real life, of what is to come.