God is my life. I have no life but His.
I was mistaken when I thought I lived apart from God, a separate entity that moved in isolation, unattached, and housed within a body. Now I know my life is God’s, I have no other home, and I do not exist apart from Him. He has no Thoughts that are not part of me, and I have none but those which are of Him.
Our Father, let us see the face of Christ instead of our mistakes. For we who are Your holy Son are sinless. We would look upon our sinlessness, for guilt proclaims that we are not Your Son. And we would not forget You longer. We are lonely here, and long for Heaven, where we are at home. Today we would return. Our Name is Yours, and we acknowledge that we are Your Son.
Boy, am I glad that I was mistaken to think I am this body and that I live in time and space! I am not always certain of who I am yet, but I am happy to know that someday I will be. Right now I don’t feel like an ego but I still act like one. I know that will continue to change and who I act like will begin to fall in line with who I am. It is inevitable.
I seem to think a lot of things that are not God’s thoughts, but I know they are not my real thoughts. It is just part of that general confusion of not acting like who I am. These ego thoughts are useful only in that they point to the mistaken ideas that need correction. Many of the thoughts in my mind are like background static. They are there but I don’t believe them and so they are meaningless to me. Many catch my attention briefly but I do not put my faith in them and so they pass. There are still some that hook me and keep my attention for awhile. These are the ones that create suffering in my life until I am ready to allow them to be corrected.
Dear God, I am lonely for You. I know You haven’t gone anywhere, and really I have not left you, but I have turned my awareness from Your Love and I long to return. I know that forgiveness is the way I do this. I know that as I forgive I see only the face of Christ in all my brothers and in myself. The little experience I have had in this has convinced me it is true. I am willing to be aware of each thought that would condemn my brother and so condemn myself, and I am willing to see it differently. This is now the focus of my life and everything else is just the classroom that allows me to continue this work.
Jesus, if you could look upon the one who would nail you to the cross and forgive, then I can certainly forgive. Thank you so much for the example you gave me, and for showing me it is possible to do this. You are my shining example and I love you and appreciate you more than I can express in words.
I had the opportunity to experience myself on the cross and then, through forgiveness, to realize I put myself there and could get down whenever I chose to. My son hurt himself through what seemed like a foolish and unnecessary act. I was angry with him and fearful for him and for myself. I felt like, through his thoughtless behavior, he had crucified me.
Because I have been practicing observing my thoughts, I pretty quickly saw that I was not really suffering because he did something. I was suffering because of how I felt about what he did. I crucified myself. Byron Katie says that all suffering is caused by believing something that is not true and I certainly saw this in my own mind. I believed he was responsible for my suffering and therefore could save me by acting differently. I also saw, nearly simultaneously, that this is not true.
It took a little while for me to completely relinquish my fear and the mistaken belief that he was guilty, but I never doubted I would. It was the only possible solution because it was the only one that led to peace and therefore to God. This is why accepting that the peace of God is everything I need is so important. It is in this peaceful mind that I meet God.