XI. The Test of Truth, P 8
8 How can you, so firmly bound to guilt and committed so to remain, establish for yourself your guiltlessness? That is impossible. But be sure that you are willing to acknowledge that it is impossible. It is only because you think that you can run some little part, or deal with certain aspects of your life alone, that the guidance of the Holy Spirit is limited. Thus would you make Him undependable, and use this fancied undependability as an excuse for keeping certain dark lessons from Him. And by so limiting the guidance that you would accept, you are unable to depend on miracles to answer all your problems for you.
I think Jesus explains our need to rely on Holy Spirit for guidance in everything very clearly. I hear two important messages here. First, that guilt is our problem and second that the Holy Spirit is our answer. First I want to look at guilt as the problem. I sometimes think that lack and loss is the problem, but where does this idea come from?
If I think I lack anything it can only be because I believe I am guilty and thus unworthy of abundance. How about the problem of attack and defend? I could only attack or defend if I thought I was vulnerable and that could only happen if I thought I was guilty of something and thus unworthy of perfect protection.
I think that all problems go back to the belief in guilt, which came from the belief we separated from God. The audacity of that act is what left us feeling guilty and unworthy. It is the one problem with the one solution that Jesus talks to us about. This solution is the Holy Spirit, who will guide us out of the belief in guilt.
The Holy Spirit will provide us with perfect guidance in every area of our life if we let Him. To let Him we must first acknowledge that we cannot establish our own guiltlessness, that it is impossible for us to do so. The second thing we have to do is to offer every problem to Him. We must not hold back some parts of our life that we think we can solve alone. When we do this we fail, and we come to believe the Holy Spirit is undependable, sometimes helping us and sometimes not.
Here is an example. Some years ago, my daughter had a problem she wanted help with, and I wanted to provide that help. I felt the Holy Spirit guiding me away from this decision and I quickly squelched that thought. I didn’t want the Holy Spirit’s advice on this. I wanted to be my daughter’s hero. I did as I planned and it was an uphill battle the whole time.
Here is another example. I said I wanted to be done with a belief and was sent many opportunities to choose differently. Instead of using these situations to make new decisions and form new habits, I felt sorry for myself for all the trouble I seemed to have. I felt unfairly treated and a victim of life. I listened to the ego’s dark lesson of fear instead of accepting the Holy Spirit’s help. It took awhile before I was able to accept the guidance I was being given and thus to reap the benefits.
I now fully accept that I still believe in guilt and that I cannot establish my own guiltlessness. I also fully accept that the Holy Spirit can and will if I only let Him. He will do it without fail unless I hold back. Where I want to make decisions on my own (with ego) the Holy Spirit cannot intercede but will wait patiently for me to change my mind. If I change my mind quickly, turn to the Holy Spirit in every circumstance, I will end my suffering.