I. The Conditions of Learning, P 4

4 Any direction that would lead you where the Holy Spirit leads you not, goes nowhere. Anything you deny that He knows to be true you have denied yourself, and He must therefore teach you not to deny it. Undoing is indirect, as doing is. You were created only to create, neither to see nor do. These are but indirect expressions of the will to live, which has been blocked by the capricious and unholy whim of death and murder that your Father does not share with you. You have set yourself the task of sharing what cannot be shared. And while you think it possible to learn to do this, you will not believe all that is possible to learn to do.

 

Journal

Jesus talks about direct and indirect expressions. Seeing and doing are indirect expressions of the will to live. That is a strange thought because seeing and doing are all we remember and all that seems to make up life. Even if someone is blind and so cannot see with the body’s eyes, they can perceive which is another way of seeing.

I see people and places and things and do stuff with them and there. I crave the things I see, to hold them and own them. I perceive what they all mean to me and my perception is different than yours and even mine is not stable. I can change my mind in a minute about what it means. Now I love it, now I hate it.

What I see, what it means, and what I do with it; that makes up my life as I know it. And yet, Jesus says that this is an indirect expression of the will to live. So there must be a direct expression. What could that be? Perhaps being rather than doing? But what would that look like? I cannot envision that.

Jesus says that I was created to create, not to see or do. Even that has little meaning to me. I can relate to making, but making is just more doing. Jesus also says that what I deny, I deny myself. So I deny the ability to create and therefore I cannot create. Instead I try to create indirectly through making.

We made this world. Then within the world we make things, discover things, do things. All of this is indirect attempts at creating, and it leaves us empty because it denies us our heritage which is direct creation. We can and will regain what we have blocked. So let me shift my focus. Jesus says that the Holy Spirit will teach us not to deny it. This will be indirect, too.

He says that we must follow Holy Spirit rather than ego because ego will only take you to the indirect experience where we worship death rather than life. Here is what I see as I read this paragraph. When I place my focus on ego, I live a shadow life. It is a pale copy of Life. It is indirect living.

In this imitation of living I make rather than create, and I become something that dies rather than the eternal being that I am. I suffer in pain and sickness rather than existing in eternal bliss. I am meant to share all with all, but instead I set myself the impossible task of sharing what I made, that is, death and destruction.

And thus I have set myself up for failure and I teach myself I lack in a way that cannot be filled. Only the Holy Spirit can help me out of this conundrum where I made the unbelievable and then believed in it. I can depend on the Holy Spirit to do this. He will not fail me. I only need to turn to Him with a sincere desire to be shown.


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