Because time is an issue for me and because I am choosing to let that idea go, I have been given an idea that I use sometimes. It started when I had a free day, no appointments, no work, nothing particular on my calendar. I thought of all the things I have been trying to do but didn’t have time for, and was trying to decide what to do first and wondering how many I could get done. I noticed that I was starting to feel pressured for time, just as I had been during a regular day.
I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want this to be just another day trying to beat the clock. Then I noticed a thought; “Today I am going to be retired and so I have all the time in the world.” You see, I am always saying that when I retire I will not have to rush through everything, I can just take my time and enjoy each thing I do. So I decided to take that thought seriously and as guidance, and act as if I was retired. I could go back to being not retired the next day. It worked perfectly!
Since then the thought has come again at times. Sometimes it is just for an hour or so. I will be working frantically to finish something and feeling stressed. Then the thought will appear that I am retired for now and I will slow down as I realize I have all the time in the world to get this done. In this relaxed state the job flows easily and I enjoy it.
This morning, practically from the moment I woke up, I was thinking about being Awakened. I don’t know how that happens. I am preparing for the moment as I let go of the untrue thoughts in my mind. I forgive and forgive as often as it comes to me to do so. I practice the Course and allow my mind to be healed, accepting the Atonement for as much as I can. Preparing to be awakened seems to be my part and so I do it.
But I have moments when I long to be awake and moments I long for God to be fully in my awareness, and to remember who I am. This morning was one of those times, especially when I read Lesson 326, which says “I am forever Your Effect, and You forever and forever are my Cause.” This sentence makes my heart sing! Something in me remembers this and so I long to know it again. And surely I can and am meant to, because, as He created me I have remained. Where He established me I still abide. My heart cries out to know Him again.
And I had the thought to make this a day of knowing God and knowing who I am. I can’t make myself awaken, I don’t think, but I can spend today as if I was awakened. At least I can spend it in peace and joy. When the ego tries to establish itself in my mind once again, I can laugh at it. I can accept each thing that happens to me as perfect and if the ego objects and calls me a fool, and if I wonder if that could be right, I can ask to be shown the perfection of the moment.
So that is my plan today. I am not really retired, and I have a lot to do, but I am going to settle into today and treat it as if it is endless and there is no hurry to finish anything. And I am going to act as if every word in today’s lesson is true, not in some unseen future, but in this moment, as surely it must be since truth is eternal and so can never not be. If I become confused as I try on this idea I will just ask how to see this moment as the Christ that I am.
Jesus, I will need your help today.