EPILOGUE, P 5
5 Let us go out and meet the newborn world, knowing that Christ has been reborn in it, and that the holiness of this rebirth will last forever. We had lost our way but He has found it for us. Let us go and bid Him welcome Who returns to us to celebrate salvation and the end of all we thought we made. The morning star of this new day looks on a different world where God is welcomed and His Son with Him. We who complete Him offer thanks to Him, as He gives thanks to us. The Son is still, and in the quiet God has given him enters his home and is at peace at last.
I don’t think I have to wait for this. I think the delay is only in my mind and that salvation waits complete, for me to notice it is here. Could it possibly be so easy after eons of telling myself that it is too hard, too much work, too scary? Could I simply accept that it is done, that I have been saved from my illusion, my dream of being separate from God? Could it be that it has already been accomplished and I sit here in my messy story pretending that there is more to do?
I have considered this possibility and I have taken a step out of the story. It is glorious! So much has fallen away and I feel so free. I watch the story unfold and find it more interesting than upsetting. I wonder how it is that I could have been so blind before, how I could have ever taken this seriously. Didn’t Jesus tell me that nothing can be real if God did not create it? Did I think he was just saying those words to hear himself talk? Of course he meant it. It is so obvious now. Why can’t everyone see this? I feel like shaking everyone and saying, “Wake up! Wake up!”
Then a couple of days ago I have an insane moment when I imagine that I am separate from someone else and catapult myself right back into the world, and suddenly it all seems so real and so serious. It seems that this person should stop being himself and be someone I like better. It seems like I am suffering because of his words and his attitude. It even seems like he got me kicked out of paradise with his meanness.
All the while there is this voice of sanity that I’ve pushed to the back of my mind saying, “Really? Really, Myron? This is where you want to go with your thinking?” I know I’m crazy to listen to the mind tell me that I am a victim and can’t do anything about it. I know I’m crazy to listen to the mind say that it’s too late, I’m lost again and will never find that eye of the needle, that hidden way out of the world, that I will never luck into that again. The mind says that paradise is lost again, I lost it and I don’t deserve to find it again if I would throw it away over such a little thing.
Isn’t that just like the ego mind? It seems like a tyrant that batters me with mean and disheartening thoughts, but really it is just a belief that generates thoughts in support of that belief. The ego mind is the belief in separation and so all the thoughts it has to offer me are thoughts that come from that belief, thoughts that encourage fear, guilt, anger, shame, frailty, suffering and death. Why would I expect anything else from the ego? Would I expect apples from an orange tree?
Sitting around blaming the ego for doing its job and feeling assaulted by the ego is ridiculous. It’s like sitting under that orange tree and saying “Ouch” every time an orange fell on my head. I can wish the oranges would stop falling and berate the tree for throwing oranges on me, or I can get up and go someplace else.
I asked myself, does it make me happy to think my brother’s words are disrespectful and unkind? Does it make me happy to think I am a victim to my feelings? Is there another way to see this? I seemed to remember that just the other day there was another way to see. So I got up and went someplace else. I am sitting under a flowering tree now. When something falls on me it is soft and fragrant and doesn’t cause me pain. ~smile~
It is as simple as choosing to recognize the source of the thoughts in my mind and deciding to listen to the thoughts that come from a different Source. The Voice for God is just as available to me as is the ego voice, and this Voice is not a liar, so why would I not listen to it. Why on earth did I listen to the ego to begin with? Is it so seductive? Does it offer me something sweeter than unending peace and joy? Or is it just familiar, an old habit?
I embraced fear and guilt for a very long time and I see that those ideas still live in the mind, still tempting. But I know something else now. I know that no matter how real it appears, separation and all its effects are an illusion. That fact is undeniable. It seems that once I know something, it is not possible to un-know it. I might get temporarily distracted from the truth, but I cannot lose it. I might slip into confusion, but I cannot stay there. The truth is in my mind and it is not going anywhere.