EPILOGUE, P 1
1 Forget not once this journey is begun the end is certain. Doubt along the way will come and go and go to come again. Yet is the ending sure. No one can fail to do what God appointed him to do. When you forget, remember that you walk with Him and with His Word upon your heart. Who could despair when hope like this is his? Illusions of despair may seem to come, but learn how not to be deceived by them. Behind each one there is reality and there is God. Why would you wait for this and trade it for illusions, when His Love is but an instant farther on the road where all illusions end? The end is sure and guaranteed by God. Who stands before a lifeless image when a step away the Holy of the Holies opens up an ancient door that leads beyond the world?
This is the perfect paragraph for me to study today. I had one of those moments of doubt. It came last night and was still here this morning. I sat in front of the computer to do my study and realized that the doubt was clouding my mind. I talked to the Holy Spirit about it. I knew as soon as the doubt showed up that it was false, and so the feelings it brought with it were false as well.
It is still strange to me how this can happen. I can feel anger or fear or sadness and at the same time know that this is not real. The lovely thing is, because I don’t believe in them, I cannot feel these things as strongly as I used to and not for as long. So I sat with Holy Spirit and felt His comforting presence and waited for His answer.
The first sane thought was to say the prayer I learned from a friend. Holy Spirit, please come into my mind and undo what I have done. Then I remembered not to resist. I let the feelings come. I let the thoughts come. I cried a little because the tears seem to be part of the allowing. As I watched all of this happening, and paid attention to the thoughts without judging them, I realized that all I was looking at was guilt.
That was good news because guilt is not real. I made guilt up. God did not create guilt so it must be part of the illusion. If it is not real, I don’t have to listen to it. I don’t have to believe it. I don’t have to do anything about it. I had asked the Holy Spirit to undo what I have done and so the mistake has been corrected. I felt a sense of relief wash over me, followed by peace.
Shortly after, I had the opportunity to share about this and that reinforces the healing. I also asked the Holy Spirit to let me know if there is anything for me to “do” about the circumstances around this situation and the perfect opportunity occurred. The perfect words came to me without any thought on my part.
As I do this work I am learning trust. I am learning to trust myself. I am learning to trust what Jesus is teaching me through A Course in Miracles. I am learning to trust that which lives me. I am learning to trust the Holy Spirit in my mind. I am learning to trust God. Even the moments of doubt are tempered by trust. I am so grateful.