II. The Answer to Prayer, P 9
9 To disbelieve is to side against, or to attack. To believe is to accept, and to side with. To believe is not to be credulous, but to accept and appreciate. What you do not believe you do not appreciate, and you cannot be grateful for what you do not value. There is a price you will pay for judgment, because judgment is the setting of a price. And as you set it you will pay it.
Jesus says that to disbelieve is to side against or to attack. I had never thought of it that way. I also never thought of it as a judgment, but of course it is. I had always thought that simply disbelieving someone was neutral unless I got upset about it or said something to him. Suddenly his words are starting to unfold in my mind and I see how this works.
I have a relative whose political beliefs are opposite of mine. I am not very political, but sometimes the politics of the issues touch on my philosophy of life. He is very vocal and very harsh in his judgments of people who he sees as different from him. I have often thought he was wrong in his opinion, and hurtful in the way he expressed it. However, I keep my opinions to myself, and I even act as mediator when he upsets someone else. His words do not change that he is my nephew and I don’t love him less.
In this particular case, I thought I was on the side of the angels. My opinions were more loving than his. I didn’t hold his errors against him. I even tried to keep the peace in the family by smoothing things over on his behalf. And as I write this, I have to laugh at myself. The spiritual ego was all over this situation.
I disbelieve my nephew, and judge him to be wrong so I have decided he is guilty. In my mind, if nowhere else, (and in my mind is the only place there is, so it definitely counts) I attack him. I have been upset with him for his judgments and his attacks, and as it turns out, I am judging and attacking. Judgment has a price and I pay that price.
If I judge anyone else, I will also judge myself, and so I will have no peace. If I believe in judgment I will teach judgment and so I am no longer a teacher of God, but a teacher of the ego. Judgment is an attack and a foolish one, being based on perception, which is notoriously unsound. And ultimately, I cannot enter God’s presence if I attack his Son.
So what do I do about this? How can I not have an opinion? Can I say I believe in some of his most obnoxious statements? Jesus says that to believe is not to be credulous, but to accept and appreciate. I don’t need to believe the unkind things he claims to believe, but to accept and appreciate him in spite of his ego ranting. What I believe and accept is what he truly is, and he is not his ego with its fearful attacks on everyone.
As soon as I wrote these words, and knew that I want to see him as the Holy Spirit sees him, all desire to attack and judge fell away. I see the ego as it is expressing through him and I know that this does not change his own perfect self in any way. He is playing the part of the self that he is to play, but it is all play. He is innocent as am I.
The healing of my mind came through my desire to be healed. I did not get there by seeing the logic in this. Those are the words I used to describe the change, but they did not promote the change. The change in mind was done for me by the Holy Spirit. I did my part as I became willing to see differently.
The metamorphosis occurred through he Holy Spirit’s intervention. Then, I was given words that would help to understand and describe the change. It is important that I realize I did not heal my own mind or I will start trying to use the ego to do this. Healing the mind is the function of the Holy Spirit and He will do it to the degree I allow Him to do so.