Above all else I want to see.
Today’s idea expresses something stronger than mere determination. It gives vision priority among your desires. You may feel hesitant about using the idea, on the grounds that you are not sure you really mean it. This does not matter. The purpose of today’s exercises is to bring the time when the idea will be wholly true a little nearer.
There may be a great temptation to believe that some sort of sacrifice is being asked of you when you say you want to see above all else. If you become uneasy about the lack of reservation involved, add:
Vision has no cost to anyone.
If fear of loss still persists, add further:
It can only bless.
The idea for today needs many repetitions for maximum benefit. It should be used at least every half hour, and more if possible. You might try for every fifteen or twenty minutes. It is recommended that you set a definite time interval for using the idea when you wake or shortly afterwards, and attempt to adhere to it throughout the day. It will not be difficult to do this, even if you are engaged in conversation, or otherwise occupied at the time. You can still repeat one short sentence to yourself without disturbing anything.
The real question is, how often will you remember? How much do you want today’s idea to be true? Answer one of these questions, and you have answered the other. You will probably miss several applications, and perhaps quite a number. Do not be disturbed by this, but do try to keep on your schedule from then on. If only once during the day you feel that you were perfectly sincere while you were repeating today’s idea, you can be sure that you have saved yourself many years of effort.
I remember doing this in the early days and knowing that I didn’t really mean it. Then later doing it again and thinking I meant it only to discover I forgot to say these words until the day was completely over. What a disappointment that was! It was also scary to me and I felt guilty. Later still and I had gotten over being scared and much later, I got over feeling guilty when I would forget. I am going to do it today, just to see if I remember. But no matter what I won’t be upset or guilty however it goes. Guilt and fear is what I am undoing.
Above all else I want to see. I tried it out just to see what rang as true for me. I want to see more than I want to retire. OK, that is true. Another goal I have is to lose weight, but to do so in a permanent way because my mind is healed of the belief that the body is more powerful than the mind. Above that “lofty” goal, I want to see. Ok. I want to see more than I want to lose weight by any means. Ok. Good to go. I want to see more than I want an ice cream cone. Ha ha. Any time I think about weight loss, I start craving ice cream. But I am ok with that one.
Now let’s get down to the hard stuff. I want to see more than I want to have a life free of grief and loss. Yes I do, but if I were to truly see with Christ Vision, then I would not see grief and loss. That is the thing about this lesson. The ego says that vision requires sacrifice and that is the reason we resist this lesson. Actually, I can’t lose anything of value through vision. I can’t lose anything that matters through vision. How about my life, do I want to see above keeping this body animated? Oh hell yeah! Ha ha. This isn’t life, it is a dream of death. But vision doesn’t even demand this “loss” of us.
I really, truly want to see above all else. I think. I am going to pay attention to what I think is more important. I have a feeling it is going to be something ridiculously unimportant, like distancing myself from someone I don’t like or trust. Or like holding a grievance for something that happens. But if that happens, then I will remind myself that I want to see above all else.