Rev. Myron Jones, O.M.C.

Lesson 19, 2016

January 18, 2016

Lesson 19

I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts.

The idea for today is obviously the reason why your seeing does not affect you alone. You will notice that at times the ideas related to thinking precede those related to perceiving, while at other times the order is reversed. The reason is that the order does not matter. Thinking and its results are really simultaneous, for cause and effect are never separate.

Today we are again emphasizing the fact that minds are joined. This is rarely a wholly welcome idea at first, since it seems to carry with it an enormous sense of responsibility, and may even be regarded as an “invasion of privacy.” Yet it is a fact that there are no private thoughts. Despite your initial resistance to this idea, you will yet understand that it must be true if salvation is possible at all. And salvation must be possible because it is the Will of God.

The minute or so of mind searching which today’s exercises require is to be undertaken with eyes closed. The idea for today is to be repeated first, and then the mind should be carefully searched for the thoughts it contains at that time. As you consider each one, name it in terms of the central person or theme it contains, and holding it in your mind as you do so, say:

I am not alone in experiencing the effects of this thought about _______.

The requirement of as much indiscriminateness as possible in selecting subjects for the practice periods should be quite familiar to you by now, and will no longer be repeated each day, although it will occasionally be included as a reminder. Do not forget, however, that random selection of subjects for all practice periods remains essential throughout. Lack of order in this connection will ultimately make the recognition of lack of order in miracles meaningful to you.

Apart from the “as needed” application of today’s idea, at least three practice periods are required, shortening the length of time involved, if necessary. Do not attempt more than four.

Journal

I am not alone in experiencing the effects of seeing. I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts. I am not alone. And there is no separation in my thoughts and what I see. Cause and effect are never separate. Thank you, God, for that. You are my Cause and I am your effect and we can never be separate.

I am one with all of my brothers and sisters. I have said that since I started the study of A Course in Miracles, but at some point I began to believe it. It is shifting from a concept I want to believe, and becoming my experience. Not completely. Not yet. I still push against it at times and so it is not yet my experience, but I always notice when I am resisting it and I realize that resistance is futile (as the Borg say ~smile~).

I can pretend that I am separate from my brothers and from God, but I cannot make it true, and pretending to be separate is lonely and frightening. I pray that this thing I have done be undone for me, in spite of the ego fear of oneness. The ego mind wants to be alone, but I am not the ego. I am remembering what I am.

I was thinking of the last time I insisted I was separate from someone and I realized that I do this in many little ways all day long. It would be discouraging if I didn’t realize that I have so much help. The idea of minds being joined is never entirely welcome to us as we realize that this means that we have no private thoughts.

The idea of privacy and private thoughts are part of the separation belief. If I am part of the whole, part of God, an aspect of Self, how could I think alone? How could I see alone? There is no alone if all is one. What would we be alone from? Even the bit of progress I have made in accepting this fact has changed everything about the way I live my life.

I now treat others as I would want to be treated, because how I treat everyone is how I treat myself. Well, I do that most of the time, and when I fail to remember that I am one with all, I notice it quickly because it feels so wrong. I think that I notice it because it feels like I was unkind to myself, and that, of course, is exactly the case.

One Response to Lesson 19, 2016

  • This lesson is hard for me to focus on. I have been embroiled (I feel like I AM boiling) in an argument with an “other” person and my mind is reeling with feelings of betrayal, justification for rage, rage, futility, despair, frustration and guilt. Those are my thoughts. And others are experiencing them? More guilt. I an accept responsibility for my nicer thoughts but these feelings are horrendously painful. I do not wish them on anyone. I’ve had them for over 24 hours. I did not sleep because of them. I have asked Holy Spirit over and over during this time for healing. I have had some thoughts that are eye opening but these thoughts are connected to a panic, a fear of being abandoned a fear of not being loved and fear of being a really really bad person that nobody can love. I can barely hear Holy Spirit because the din of my angst is so loud. As I write this I note that the argument was something rather minor but it had big implications… I wonder if that person cares… did they ever care… are they deliberately trying to upset me and what about that time and that other time and that other time and oh yea, there was that time. I realize I am thinking those thoughts but the power of these feelings is overwhelming. and I am not along in those feelings??!! That makes me feel bad. Do I put on a fake sunny smile for others? I cannot right now. Can I stop the ricochet across the quantum field of my angst? No. This is not the first time I’ve had this particular set of feelings so I know this attack on myself must be connected to THE separation. I tend to get this overwhelming stuff when I feel unloved due to feeling attacked, or accused unjustly. THAT person attacked me…therefore they think I’m horrible…they think I AM awful and unworthy. I cannot bear the thought of another thinking that about me. Or so it seems. So those thoughts are my thoughts! Not “their” thoughts. Sometimes in the past someone has made a comment or a snide remark and I became overwhelmed by these exact, same feelings. I have seen people on talk shows demonstrate this kind of rage or despair and I pity “them” thinking I am glad I am not one of “them.” But I AM. Here I AM feeling just like that. And now I have to face that I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts. I guess that means they are not alone in experiencing the effects of their thoughts and perhaps I receive their feelings/thoughts too. Thoughts and feelings are different no? I can have a thought about a rose and “feel” a small pleasure. I have a thought that I am betrayed and I “feel” waves of pain and rage and fear. I can have the thought I want to read this book and that doesn’t hurt but then I can’t even read because the waves of fear wash over me making the letters blur and jump around. That means different thoughts create different feelings then. I also get “feelings” of physical pain when I get this particular “set” of feelings that feel like a panic attack because I “think” I am after all totally unworthy and worthless and in the end I will be totally abandoned and alone and in pain. I think I have a low lying sense of this feeling all the time now that I am breathing and thinking a bit more clearly. Those feelings are that I am frustrated with life. I am frustrated that life does not seem to be working out for me in some ways. I have 2 masters degrees a really nice family, a beautiful home and yet “life isn’t working out for me”. I am worthless? I have those masters degrees and a nice home because they were activities I engaged in to distract me from this pain and angst. I have nowhere to look now. I have “done it all” without relief. There is no distraction that interests me now. I only have one choice. To face my thoughts, to face the effect of my thoughts. I watched my mother distract herself from her feelings until she was in her 90’s. She played bingo, she played crib, she played Canasta she went to the Casino. She never stayed home. She hated religion and thought spirituality or self help or psychology was for the weak. Then she became disabled with arthritis and had to stay home. She was bitter, angry and hateful to everyone around her. Everyone is a bitch in her eyes. Now she is full of dementia and that hate spews out of her mouth with no barriers anymore. The emotions I’ve been experiencing n the last 2 days are just like some of the stuff she says. What I feel l see on TV shows like Jerry Springer where they try to fist fight each other and hurl insults across the stage using vulgar language and gestures. Something just happened. A sense of peace started inside of me and the pain left. I am NOT alone in the effects of my thoughts. Minds like mine and my mothers are joined. I have no explanation for why except unloading all of this exactly as to how I felt and asking Holy Spirit to heal me and I feel peace now. I am not alone in experiencing this peace either. I pray for this peace to envelope my mother. I pray for this peace to envelope everyone. Thank You Holy Spirt and thank you Myron. Thank you anyone who could read to the end of this and I pray that I did not upset you with the effects of these thoughts.

Leave a Reply