VI. Fear and Conflict, P 3
3 It is pointless to believe that controlling the outcome of mis-thought can result in healing. When you are fearful, you have chosen wrongly. That is why you feel responsible for it. You must change your mind, not your behavior, and this is a matter of willingness. You do not need guidance except at the mind level. Correction belongs only at the level where change is possible. Change does not mean anything at the symptom level, where it cannot work.
Well, I just have to laugh out loud as I read this. I find myself in an awkward situation which I am not at liberty to discuss except in very general terms. I know a secret and it seemed to me that knowing this secret was causing me a lot of anxiety. If I did nothing with the secret I felt like I was betraying a confidence. If I acted on the secret, I felt like I was betraying someone else.
After feeling this anxiety for a couple of days, and not being able to come up with a solution, I finally got around to asking for help. Last night I asked Holy Spirit what I should do about this situation. This morning I got my answer when he sent me to this paragraph (and the paragraphs we did yesterday) but I failed to connect the two. So he sent me to an article by Nouk Sanchez, which explained the answer more fully so I couldn’t miss the connection. (I had to laugh because I had completely missed the link between my problem and what we have been studying.)
The answer, now that I have opened my eyes to it, is obvious. Jesus said, “It is pointless to believe that controlling the outcome of mis-thought can result in healing.” He said, “You must change your mind, not your behavior.” What I have been doing is this. I felt like I was stuck in a situation where no matter what I did I had to betray someone. I kept looking at the situation to find a solution. I even asked Holy Spirit to look at the situation and come up with something because I couldn’t.
My error, of course, is that I was trying to find a way to manipulate the solution. I wanted to trade one illusion for another, hopefully, better one. This is not my true desire, and I went to it because I still get confused about that. However, because I sincerely wanted help, and because there is a part of my mind that is not confused about what I want, I was directed to that help.
My problem only seems to be that I am faced with a choice of who to betray. The reality is that I am being given an opportunity to ask the Holy Spirit to heal the belief in betrayal. As Nouk points out in her article, the belief in betrayal is an attack. It is an attack on others and an attack on myself. If I allow my mind to be healed of the belief in betrayal, I will never again feel betrayed, nor will I betray others.
The ego, of course, is very suspicious of this as an answer. It says that this is not going to help the situation and I still don’t know what to do. What I do know, however, is that cause and effect are together in my mind. Change the cause and the effect must also be changed. While everything shifts, I must trust. I have asked for a miracle for all involved.
A prayer once said, is answered, and it is a mistake to think it needs to be repeated. I trust that everything is perfect just as it is and that my part is complete. I asked for healing and I accepted healing. The details are not my business. Even if I never understand the perfection, never see why the outcome was perfect, I trust that it is. And if there is something for me to do or say, I will be told of it and will recognize it when I hear it. I know this is true because it is my Heart’s desire. It is what I really want.
There is something that is helpful to my understanding and that I need to reinforce in my own mind. The thought came first, then the situation. In other words, there was a thought or belief in betrayal. That belief was then projected outward as a situation in which betrayal was portrayed. I think that it happened in the way it did, where I was flummoxed as to how to avoid betrayal because I am ready to allow the belief in betrayal to be healed.
Experiencing it this way shined a light on the belief. I was faced with a problem that I could not solve in form, so I had to look more deeply and ask Holy Spirit what He wanted me to do with it. In this way, I was inviting Him into my mind to heal it and He was able to help me see that I was looking at the situation rather than the cause of the situation. That Holy Spirit is very clever at getting around my ego.
Nouk’s entire article was extremely helpful in getting me on track, but this is one paragraph that helped me to look at the problem differently.
Self Love is God’s Love made manifest. And Self Love is embodied through forgiveness, by accepting that no one is guilty. I finally see that through the ego I have used others, pain, sickness or scarcity to self-attack. I recognize that I cannot be attacked unless I first (unconsciously betray or abandon) attack myself. In order to perceive attack, I must have already abandoned my Holy Self. And now I need a miracle to restore awareness of my real Identity along with its incorruptible nature. This is what accepting Atonement is for.
When I read this, I realized that I was experiencing the idea of betrayal in my life because I had unconsciously betrayed myself. I asked for a miracle to restore me to my true identity which cannot be betrayed because of its Divine nature. You can read Nouk’s article at http://undoing-the-ego.org/noukblog/?p=379. It is an excerpt from a new book she is writing called, The End of Death. Nouk is very generous in sharing the book as she writes it in a series of articles. I’m really excited for it to be published.