Pathways of Light Course 905: Special Relationships VS Holy Relationships describes the goal of a special relationship: In truth, love in this world of bodies really means, “I want to be special, but I also feel alone, lacking and unworthy, which I can’t stand. Will you be my special partner and promise to keep your body around and help me feel special? This will help submerge my pangs of loneliness, lack and unworthiness. I will get the specialness, acknowledgment and attention I want so desperately. In return I will shower you with specialness. I will agree to give special attention to you and shower you with my exclusive ‘love.’ Through our alliance in being special partners, we will avoid the side-effects of loneliness and guilt that our desire for specialness brings. We will be happy our way, in our little world of specialness. We will be each others idols and replace the Love of God.”
This doesn’t have to be. We can choose differently. We can recognize our oneness in God and by setting a clear intention to express that truth of our selves; we open our mind to the Holy Spirit for the healing of those specialness thoughts. We don’t have to do it alone, and in fact cannot do it alone; to receive His help we need only to look honestly at what we are doing and ask for correction.
The point is that whoever is saner at the time can stop the cycle of attack and defend. It doesn’t matter who does it because no one is trying to win on a personal level. They recognize that unless both of them win, neither wins. They are in this together. No one is trying to get something from the other.
Just recognizing that we are trying to complete ourselves through our relationships and that this never works is enough to open our mind to another possibility. There is a way to be in relationships that honors our self and our partner by honoring God as our Creator. We can achieve this by looking honestly at our relationships and asking the Holy Spirit to correct our errors.